What a Great Idea!

 Wasn’t it a great idea when the European powers that be decided we could opt out of tracking and cookies and other obnoxious efforts by corporations to grab information about our every internet move? I thank the European Union for sticking up for the average consumer. If they hadn’t passed the law for their own citizens, people in the US still wouldn’t have those options because - one woman’s opinion - no one in our government is looking out for us.

Yes, it was a great idea. I have rejected every single option to be monitored, tracked, and cookied that has been offered to me. Even when companies make it a pain in the patooty to opt out, I do. So, why do they know everything about me anyway?

I purchased some clothing online from JC Penney in June. I’m opted out of everything but essential functions at JCP. Funny thing though, ads for the EXACT same dress I already bought still pop up on Google. Couldn’t they at least offer me a little variety?

I’m beginning my search for a publisher. That means I have been reading, researching, and taking some classes on the topics most applicable to my needs. Lo and behold, in the last few weeks, ads for self-publishing or hybrid publishing companies have magically appeared whenever I get on the internet.  How do they even know? I search in two places regularly – Bing and Google. When I pick my search engine, it’s Bing. When my email program picks the search engine, it’s Google.

I have to believe that the search engines are the ones selling my information to the trackers, marketers, scammers, and dark web denizens … And how do you opt out of the search engine tracking programs? They aren’t offering a convenient page of options anywhere I’ve seen.

Do you feel helpless sometimes against the giant corporate “Them”? I do. It’s tempting to just give up and let it slide. You can’t protect yourself anyway. How many of the places you are connected to have been breached? I get notices regularly, along with offers of free monitoring for a year or two. I always take them. By the time the free service runs out, some other company will have a breach and then I’ll get it free once more.

But really, what good do monitoring services actually do? I’ve been on the internet for over 20 years. I have sites and passwords and exposures I don’t even remember. When IDX tells me they’ve found my information on the dark web in 14 or 27 or 100 different places, what am I actually supposed to do about it? If you’ve ever looked at those, they generally don’t give you enough information to go track them down even if you had the time and inclination. Oh – unless you want to pay extra for the advanced software they offer!

I have to let this go. Every time I see a gratuitous ad on my PC or iPad, my blood pressure skyrockets and that’s not good for me. Every time I am making a new undecipherable password that I’ll have to change again in a few weeks or months (it used to be years), my teeth grind audibly. I’m sick of having to keep track of a password book. Oh, I tried a password manager, too, but those are just as big a pain as my handwritten address book is. (Remember when addresses referred to physical locations?)

Yes, it was a great idea to protect consumers from intrusive tracking and legal internet stalking. Too bad it doesn’t work.

Ciao

Three's a Charm

Ordinarily, ‘three’s a charm’ refers to attempts to accomplish something. Today I’m using it to explore the charming attributes of three-year-old kids. Tori was three and a half when she came to live with us permanently. We missed a lot of her development during the prior eight months while she languished in foster care. Language presented an especially knotty problem because we didn’t know the speech patterns she had picked up as she expanded her vocabulary.

Take the case of lemma lemmas. We had no idea what she meant when she asked for them, which she did persistently. One day, when she begged me for lemma-lemmas at Walgreens, my brain engaged and I said, “Show me the lemma-lemmas, Tori.” Off she went, quickly finding the candy aisle. By the time I got there, she had a bag of M&Ms in her little hands. “Lemma-lemmas!” she said. “Yes!” I said back to her. To myself, I said, “For heaven’s sake. How did you miss that?”

 Our grandson, who turned three mere weeks ago, is not as language-adept as his mother had been. (He is also six months younger than Tori’s lemma-lemma days.) But he’s quickly acquiring words and, with this kiddo, we understand a lot of things that outsiders wouldn’t. “Gramma,” he rumbles in the deliberately deep voice he uses when he wants something, all the while tugging on one of my hands with both of his. “C’mere.” “What do you want, AJ? Grandma’s busy.” “Gramma, c’mere!”

 The child weighs 55 pounds, so this two-handed tug of his requires bracing to resist. If I can stop what I’m doing and go along, it’s usually a trip to the bookshelf or his toy box. Hurling cars down his two-track raceway is popular, as well. Sometimes he’ll pull over one of his tiny chairs and command, “Sit, Grandma. Sit!” “That chair’s too little! I can’t sit there,” leads to dramatic scenes where he throws himself on the floor (being careful not to hit his head on the tile) or perhaps throws the chair. Anger management is a work in progress.

 AJ recognizes when he’s taking the wrong approach. He will clasp his little hands together in supplication, tilt his head up to look at you, bat his eyes (yes, bat his eyes), and say, “Pwease?” in the most pitiful voice you’ve ever heard. Whoever taught him to do that – I’m looking at you, Tori - probably regrets it daily. 

 We babysit while Tori works the late shift, so several times a week we put AJ to bed. He’s resistant most nights; it’s usually a two-person venture. Last night, after we tucked him in and turned on Mozart for his listening pleasure, he looked at Michael and said, “Nigh-nigh.” Michael kissed his forehead and said goodnight back. I took my turn and kissed him goodnight as well. This is going to be an easy bedtime, I thought to myself.

 As if he read my mind, AJ followed with, “Grampa, weave.” Michael blinked once or twice, parsing the command, then said, “Do you want me to leave, AJ?” “Yup,” came the reply. Michael looked at me and shrugged. “He wants me to leave.” ‘Fine, go then,” I told him, still hoping for that easy bedtime.

 After Michael exited the room, AJ rolled toward me. He grabbed my hand in both of his and pulled it to his chest. Snuggling with my hand, he looked up at me. A beatific - and self-satisfied - smile spread across his face. “Gramma. C’mere.” Five minutes later, he was fast asleep.

 Ciao

My Book is Done!!

 

My book is done!! 

Years have raced by while I contemplated and unraveled three decades of Lemony Snicket-class unfortunate events, along with many wonderful happenings, in the family Devereux. My memoir, The Requirements of Love: Forging a Family Against the Odds, is finished. It’s been professionally edited and revised. A few generous friends have been Beta readers for me, not once, but twice! My years of writing classes, writing critiques, writing groups, and just plain seat-of-the-pants writing have paid off.

 I’m focused now on querying for an agent and/or publisher and preparing and organizing my submission materials. Will I find an agent? Will I luck into a sweetheart deal with a good publisher? Will I self-publish? Enquiring minds want to know!

 For those of you who have been asking where you can buy the book, I don’t have an answer yet. There’s still a bunch of work to do, but I’m doing it.  

 Stay posted. I’ll be spending more time with my blog from now on!

Ciao