Monday, September 29, 2025

Conflating Activity with Creativity: A Wander

 I belong to a women’s spirituality group that meets for an hour on Sunday mornings via Zoom. The group, Changing Women, which started at First Unitarian Universalist Church of Houston, has been meeting for at least three decades. I used to be involved all those years ago when we were members at First Church, but when we changed congregations to get closer to home, I stopped going.

COVID has had more deleterious effects than anything I can remember in my lifetime. Oddly enough, it did have one positive effect, at least for me. Several of my organizations started using online meetings during lockdown and continued the practice afterwards. Changing Women is one of those organizations.

 A momentary detour into geography may be helpful because Houston is so much bigger than most people who are not from here can imagine. The Houston MSA (Metropolitan Statistical Area) contains nine counties, Harris County being the central entity. We live on the far western outskirts of Harris County in a community called Cypress. Down the road a few miles is Waller County, and up the street a few miles is Montgomery County. Our part of Cypress is in a corner that butts up against these other two counties.

 The cultural heart of Houston is the Theatre District downtown, followed by the Museum District in mid-town. Those locations are about 30 miles from us. Driving to the far end of Harris County from our house, Seabrook, is over 60 miles. First Church is in the Museum District, so the amazing opportunity to meet online versus driving brought me back to Changing Women a few years ago.

 The group is centered around the book Earth Medicine: Ancestor Ways of Harmony forMany Moons by Jamie Sams. Published in 1994, it is a collection of daily readings based on Native American spirituality, tied to the cycle of the moon. There are two companion books to Earth Medicine: Medicine Cards and Sacred Path Cards.

 As the name implies, each book comes with a set of cards, similar in size and shape to tarot cards, meant to be used with guidance from their companion books. Medicine Cards is about how animal totems can enlighten you; Sacred Path Cards delve into Native American beliefs about spiritual development and how people should live.

 The reading for September 28 was Boredom. It told a story of one child who used time creatively and another child who felt aimless and bored. There were three questions suggested in the study guide for the reading. How are you creating beauty from what you have at hand?  What are you seeing in your mind’s eye?  How does boredom affect creativity?

 My initial reaction was kind of combative. I never feel bored. I mean, duh, books, right? Then a bit of reality slipped by my defenses. Uh, reels on Facebook? Email? Mindless games on my phone? Even when I read a “good” book (as opposed to pulp fiction), am it just masking boredom?

 This is a poser, for sure, but I have so far concluded that passing time is not creativity. Even making something isn’t necessarily creativity. I think I have been conflating creativity with activity. Shame on me for feeling so smug about my own cleverness!

 So what does constitute creativity? Two days is not enough time to devote to this question, but some things did pop up readily. Creativity requires the application of thoughtfulness and design to a problem or idea. Take making a quilt. What do I want my quilt to look like? What fabrics can I use to achieve the effect I want? How should I cut those fabrics and sew them back together to realize the image that’s in my brain?    

 Even if I use someone else’s pattern for a quilt, there are countless intermediate steps, starting with picking the fabric and ending with how to finish the binding, that require creative processes.  I have made two quilts for which the pattern and all the fabrics were pre-selected. I made them in Block-of-the-Month classes designed to teach technique and coach people through difficult quilt block execution. But at the end of these admittedly non-original, non-creative processes, I had to make a creative choice about how to finish the quilts.

 Option one, pay someone to quilt it on a machine. That’s minimally creative, assuming I pick the pattern. Option two, machine quilt it myself. More creative decisions required here. Option three, hand quilt it, which then requires several more choices about pattern, thread, and complexity.

 I hand quilted one of my non-original quilts with a fairly simple overall pattern because I had a time crunch. It turned out beautifully, BTW, and the recipient really appreciated it. I’m still working on the second one, years after I finished the top, because I picked a ridiculously complicated quilting design to hand quilt. It will be done one of these years and that’s okay.

 Most of the quilts I make now days are unique wall hangings, designed and executed by me, to express something special. Often, they are designed for particular people. Alix, for example, has a small reverse appliqué of a tree frog that I made for her because she loves frogs. I designed and made a reverse appliqué wall hanging of a monarch butterfly for myself.

Musing about boredom and creativity has led me to realize that I am spending precious time on activities with little or no value instead of activities that are fulfilling and expressive. And I’m really too old to be wasting my time like that. How about you?

 Ciao

 

 

Monday, September 22, 2025

Jonesing for Yellow Curry

     Do you have a favorite meal at a favorite restaurant? Something that makes your mouth water when you think about it? I do. In fact, there are several meals I love at different restaurants and I often make lunch plans with friends based on going to those places for those meals. One favorite is a Thai restaurant about 25 miles from home that serves a delicious yellow curry that I crave.

     It’s funny how I started eating it. A board that I once sat on would go out to eat after meetings and one evening someone suggested the restaurant Thai Spice. It was new to me. I consider Thai food generally to be too spicy, and this place was bragging about it right in the name. But I decided to try the yellow curry with chicken after the waiter assured me they could dial down the spices for my ‘delicate’ sensibilities.

     They delivered the dish in a soup pot — creamy yellow curry broth full of carrots, potatoes, and chicken. It came with steamed rice on the side. I dolloped a spoonful of rice into the broth and sampled the results, then had an OMG moment. The soup slid around my mouth like silk, rich and luscious. The chicken and vegetables tasted perfect, and I fell in love, victim of an on-the-spot addiction.

     We went back to that restaurant once in a while, and I ate the yellow curry every time. One night, I forgot to add mild to my order. The first bite tasted wonderful — just what I expected — until the curry bit me back. Oh, dear! My eyes were watering and my tongue was tingling, but I had gotten exactly what I ordered, so I could hardly send it back. Lured by the still silky and delicious taste of yellow curry broth, I soldiered through.

     There are almost always leftovers from this meal. The restaurant is generous, and I get full, so half of it goes home to give me a lovely lunch the next day. Two-for-one, who could ask for better? I've found the spice level is more intense after reheating. More teary eyes, a runny nose, but always, I soldier on. The curry is just too good to waste.

     Eventually, I stopped asking for adjustments to the spice level. A person who would never willingly eat a jalapeño or add red pepper to my chili, who doesn’t like the spicy taste of banana peppers or use Tabasco sauce ever, here I was, eating spicy curry at my favorite Thai restaurant whenever I could get there! And I still am.

     My friend Cathy lives near the dining spot, and we usually eat there whenever we lunch out, every couple of months. Fortunately, Cathy likes Thai food and has never complained about going there all the time. The lunch menu is a bit different from the dinner menu. You are served soup, a small egg roll, and a small salad alongside your smaller serving of the yellow curry, for, of course, a lower price than dinner. I think it’s a bargain. By the time I eat the appetizers, I’m full enough that I still can’t eat all the curry and I get to take home leftovers. Win-win!

     It has been a while since I ate yellow curry at Thai Spice in the Heights. I think about it anytime my mind turns to food. Literally, I can find myself jonesing on yellow curry at the drop of a hat. I beat back my cravings by remembering that I can go there if I want to; just get in my car and drive! I don’t need a lunch or dinner partner or an excuse to indulge. I’m a grown-up who owns a car, has a debit card, and can do it right now!

     I’m going to hold off though, at least long enough to see if Cathy is free for lunch soon. And I mean soon!

Ciao

    P.S. The restaurant changed its name for reasons I don’t understand, but everything else is the same. If you want to try the yellow curry — I recommend with chicken — you can find it in the Heights under the name ZapVor by Thai Spice. I’m told that ZapVor means “Super Yummy” in Thai. There's no arguing with that.


Monday, September 15, 2025

How Many Old People Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

    How many old people does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently, more than two, because Michael and I haven’t succeeded yet. The bulbs in question are actually tubes — fluorescent tubes — for the main fixture in our kitchen. Everyone has one, right? About two feet wide and four feet long, with four tube lights that provide most of the functional illumination in a kitchen.

     The four long neon tubes in ours have been faltering for a couple of weeks now. At first, they would dim and flicker occasionally, then settle down and illuminate just fine. Recently, one tube died and the kitchen got darker. When we got down to a single working fluorescent tube light, I hated working in there at night. I asked Michael to fix them: it was really too dark, even with the over-the-sink lights and the laundry room lights turned on. Michael turning on the microwave light as I complained did not much help either the lighting or my mood.

    Coming home from an event one day, I found the ladder in the kitchen and the cover off the fixture. Good, I thought, we’re going to have light again.” One tube had been removed; none of the other tubes worked at that point. I tracked Michael down in his office and commended him for working on the lights.

    “I’ll need to run to the hardware store for bulbs,” he told me. Easy enough, Home Depot and Lowe's are both within two miles of our house. Of course, one has to work up the motivation to soldier on and actually go to the store, so the ladder and cover got in the way in the kitchen for about a week.

    The next time I left Michael home alone, I returned to find new bulbs on the dining room table, one two-pack opened and loose. “I’m going to need some help with these. I couldn’t get them seated correctly by myself,” he said. “Fine, just let me know when you’re ready.”

    And so today, a Monday some days after his first attempt, he got back to it, but without waiting for me to finish lunch. Before I could join him to give whatever help he needed, I heard a crash, followed by appropriately loud cursing. The very thin glass of a fluorescent tube had scattered everywhere, and it took both of us sweeping in both the kitchen and the dining room to clear away the bits.

     “What can I do?” I asked. 

    “I can’t get the bulb to seat in the ballast,” he said. “If you could work on one end while I work on the other, that’d be great.” 

    So I dragged out the stepstool and climbed up, ready to insert and twist. I mean, that’s really all there is to it, right? Over 48 years of marriage and several different homes, we have replaced fluorescent tube lights numerous times. Mostly, Michael has replaced them, but I do know how to do it.

    But not today. He got his end in fine, but mine would not for the life of me insert far enough into the slot to twist in place. “Something’s blocking this side. It won’t go in all the way. Let’s switch sides, maybe you can do it.”

    Michael climbed down, I stepped across to his ladder, and he walked around to the stepstool and climbed up. All right, we were ready. It was going to work this time, I knew it. My confidence lasted right up to the moment I felt Michael’s end slip and heard another tube break. Fortunately, I still had a grip on my end, so we only had half a broken tube to clean up.

    At this point, Michael suggested that it was time to get track lighting for the kitchen. After all, fluorescent tubes were a thing of the past. I couldn’t agree more, but there is one thing special I want on the new track lighting for our kitchen. An installer. 

Ciao

Monday, September 08, 2025

Don't Look a Gift Bag in the Mouth

This afternoon, someone left a plain, navy blue, paper bag hanging on my front door. To say this was unusual would be a gross understatement. It’s been since my childhood — when people left May Day baskets of candy and treats on doorsteps — that any unexpected goodies appeared out of nowhere at our house. But the bag was meant for me: a handwritten note attached began “Ms. Devereaux [sic].”

(Point of clarification, there is no A in our Irish version of the surname Devereux. The sender obviously doesn’t know me well or doesn’t pay attention to nit-picky details. But kudos for getting Ms. right!)

 A quick perusal of the note revealed that the Salvation Army had delivered this bag as a thank you for completing a recent survey they emailed to me. Imagine if every one of the multitude of companies that bombard you daily with requests to complete their surveys sent gifts afterward? Responses would skyrocket.

The bag included flyers about their estate planning/future giving program and a handful of treats: two Halloween-sized bags of Skittles, one gummy and one regular; a retractable red measuring tape suitable for a sewing room; and two miniature red Salvation Army bells like the ones wielded over their Christmas kettles. The bells had split rings attached, presumably so you could slip them onto a key ring. I immediately put one of them on the font drawer that hangs on my office wall and houses a variety of tiny treasures I love. The other is beside my laptop awaiting deployment.

I am a big fan of the Salvation Army. In 1973, I was a pregnant graduate student whose husband had left her with no visible means of support. It took me a bit to get my life in order, take a leave from school, find an interim job, and support myself until Alexandra was born several months later. During that lean, mean period, the Salvation Army gave me groceries and I have been grateful ever since.

Every January, when we distribute our charitable contributions for the year, the Salvation Army gets a chunk of money. I have been giving to them faithfully for literally decades.  And I will continue to give as long as I can. I don’t say this to brag, just to explain why I might have been picked to get an unexpected gift hung on my front door today. And why they might have included some brochures encouraging me to continue giving after I die.

My immediate reaction to this lovely, unexpected token of appreciation was, “Why are they wasting money on this?  Why don’t they use the money to provide services to needy people?” Munching my way through both bags of Skittles, I did a little research on donor premiums, as they are called in the solicitation business. (Aside: Skittles gummies are surprisingly tasty!)

According to 2018 research by three Texas A&M professors (It's Not the Thought that Counts: A Field Experiment on Gift Exchange and Giving at a Public University | NBER), donor premiums do not generate more money for the organizations that give them out. In fact, they cost more money to give than the amount they generate. But charities must think that showing appreciation to donors will benefit them in the long run or why would they do it?

I do admit to feeling some warm fuzzies when I look at the tiny Salvation Army bell. I kinda wish I had a little kettle to go with it. And the gift did prompt me to write this blog, which might get them a smidgen of notice from a few people. Possibly, I will look over their brochure before I recycle it — not promising.

Maybe the Salvation Army likes me as much as I like them. Maybe they’re happy that my life turned out well enough that I could become a donor. Maybe I am WAY over thinking this and it’s time to stop looking a gift bag in the mouth. (Forgive my abuse of a venerable adage, but I couldn’t resist.)  Time to just say thank you, Salvation Army, the treats were lovely.

Ciao

 

 

Monday, September 01, 2025

Vaccines on My Mind

Vaccines are on my mind. Or, rather, the vaccine-deniers are on my mind. I have been appalled by RFK Jr. ever since he opened his mouth to run for president. (I had the good fortune not to have noticed him before then.) I have been appalled by vaccine-deniers since I first heard of them a few decades ago.

Most people do not have the associations with public health that I do because most people did not have a microbiologist for a father. My father worked for the North Dakota Public Health Service his entire career. Hired out of college, they sent him to the University of Michigan - Ann Arbor for his master’s degree. After, he went to work in the lab in Grand Forks, my hometown, and eventually ran it. Ultimately, he took over as director of the public health services at the state offices in Bismarck until his retirement. He worked in public health for 45 years.

His work had a big effect on me. First of all, as you might suspect, hygiene and food safety got a prominent spot in our household. No hands had better go unwashed! His lab tested all the milk products from regional dairies. The technicians would sample a tablespoon or so of milk, cream, ice cream, etc. from every batch. They sent the remainder home with Dad because he had a big family to feed, so we always had lots of dairy products. We also got pets from the lab: white mice.

Dad’s lab ran the tests on all animals in North Dakota suspected of having rabies, which is done using the animals’ brains. Whenever someone – usually farmers or hunters – ran across a potentially rabid creature, they would send the head to the lab by special courier. It could be any time of the day or night. Dad would get a call and go retrieve the specimen.

If it came at night or over a weekend, he’d store the package in the extra refrigerator in our basement. We were all accustomed to having specimens in the fridge from time to time. Dad used this to his advantage. When my grandmother sent homemade goodies that he wanted to save from the depredations of his large family, he’d wrap them up to look like specimens and put them in the basement. “Don’t open that box, it’s a head,” he’d tell us.

Okay, by late elementary school or high school, we’d grown pretty confident these packages were not actually heads … but not sure enough to risk opening them. Many a powdered sugar doughnut escaped early consumption because of this. Once the package was open, he kept it locked in his gun closet, which he could have done in the first place. I think he just enjoyed teasing us.

Polio was raging in my early childhood. I remember going with my neighbor Susan to whirlpool treatments for her withered leg. I’m sure it was actually physical therapy, but at 6 or so we didn’t know that. I suppose I was there was to entertain Susan while she sat in what looked like a horse trough of swirling water for her treatments. We had fun being silly together. I remember wishing I could get in the metal tank, too. It looked like fun.

When the polio vaccine came out, my dad had early access because of his job. One Sunday afternoon, he and my mother took the little kids — I was the oldest little kid — to visit their friends, the Culmers. Dr. Culmer and his wife Vangie played bridge with my parents while us kids goofed around. The adults, of course, drank as they whiled away the afternoon. To the kids’ great surprise, when the card game and libations were done, my dad collected us and Dr. Culmer gave us all polio shots!

I remember running away and being dragged back, probably kicking and screaming. There’s nothing like getting a jab from a slightly inebriated family friend when you’re not expecting it! But, really, we were probably some of the luckiest kids in town because we got protection from polio very early on.

Measles vaccines came along later. In my day, everyone got the measles. It was miserable and inconvenient for most people, but life-altering for others. Remember Helen Keller? Blind, deaf, and mute because of measles as an infant. Some kids were maimed by the disease, some died. My three older brothers had measles at the same time. While Mother was tending to them and running our household, I apparently contracted a mild case that no one noticed. I don’t remember having the measles, but everyone said I must have. In today’s world, where measles is again a danger, I really hope I did.

I do remember having chickenpox. I was eleven. I got them on Easter weekend, and my grandmother died the same day. And I remember when my son got them. He was in high school, so only 20 or so years ago. Little Tori got them from Nick. We all have a few chickenpox scars and I’ve been lucky enough to get shingles — a direct result of having had chickenpox — as well.

Now days, no child, in America at least, need ever contract polio, or measles, or mumps, or rubella, or whooping cough, or chickenpox again. No child need contract HPV, which causes cervical cancer and throat cancer, among others. My husband had HPV throat cancer in 2016. He survived after an excruciating treatment regime that you really want to avoid!

We did it. We found a way to save so much misery and loss in our world through science. And my dad was one of those scientists. I’m proud of him and happy for the safety of future generations.

But wait! The anti-vaxxers are refusing to get their kids protected. And by doing this, they are threatening the protections that we have built into our society. They are lying about vaccines and the vaccination process to scare people away from protecting everyone through childhood vaccination programs. My father is rolling over in his grave. And to make it worse, some people in my own family are anti-vaxxers who children have never been protected. I pray it doesn’t happen, but those kids, like all the other unprotecteds, are at risk of illness, disability, and death.

What has our world come to that the government agencies tasked with the health and welfare of our people walk away from proven protections? It is worse than a shame. It is a crime.

 Ciao